Will the Real Kirsten Thomas Please Stand Up?
by Miz-KTakase
Summary: The follow-up to "Who Am I?", story #38 of Tales of the Bizarre follows Harley Hartwell, who dreams of his childhood friend, Kirsten Thomas. Of course, when he dreams of her, there's more to Kirsten; or for that matter, plenty of Kirsten to go around. Rated T for language, violence, sexual themes, and brief nudity.


"I cannot believe that Rachel had a robot twin." Harley said, as he was on the phone with Kirsten.

He was a tan-skinned boy, in his white shirt and shorts, with black hair. He added, "Yeah? Well, you were right, yes, but can you give it a rest? It's been a week now, and no one in the right mind wanted to listen to you. Yes, I know. But it's just that I didn't know. It almost fooled us, too, you know. Huh? You say that it would've been a blast to shop with her? I don't think it's right, since it's dead, now."

He added, as he was puzzled, "Well, no. I don't think they did find the body. All they found was shattered bits of plastic and faux hair and skin."

Kirsten, wearing her orange sweater, was talking to Harley, on the other end, "Oh, yes, Harley. But you can imagine what company made her. For all we know it could be Kudo's evil men in black."

Harley said, "Nah, you heard the robot. She intended to erase the other Rachel. I see no connections."

Kirsten said, as she giggled, "Right. Anyway, I should be going to bed. You mind if I come over?"

Harley said, "Sure thing."

He and Kirsten hung up, as Harley yawned, about to relax. He slept on the couch, as he moaned, "Kudo's lucky. I'm glad there are NOT two Rachel Moores. Otherwise, we'd be sitting gold."

He fell asleep, as Kirsten arrived at the front door. She blushed, as she remained in place, with her hand on her chest. She whispered, "Harley…"

She closed her eyes and remained in place. She breathed lightly, as she whispered, "I am her…"

* * *

 _After a bizarre moment for Rachel Moore, things are okay. But are they? Down in Osaka, Harley Hartwell is to meet his best friend, in more ways than one. But as he dream peacefully, waiting for his friend, he's about to get very lucky…  
Or is he?_

* * *

The door opened, as Kirsten remained in place. Her eyes flashed open, in bright white lights. She spoke in a compressed electronic voice, "Harley…"

* * *

 ** _Tales of the Bizarre #38:  
"Will the Real Kirsten Thomas Please Stand Up?"_**

* * *

He woke up, as he saw her, standing by the doorway, whispering to him, with her eyes flashing. She said, "Harley… do you love me? Tell me… Which is it? Are we guys, or are we girls?"

Harley asked, "Kirsten?! Uh… Why are your eyes lit up?"

Kirsten removed her sweater and shirt, revealing a chrome pink bra, and her skin metallic. She said, in a robotic voice, "Do me…"

 **XXXXX**

Harley woke up in the couch, as he was panting lightly. He shook his head and said, "Man, that's a terrible dream. There's just no way that Kirsten is a robot. NO…"

He thought, "You think it might have something to do with last week's dilemma?"

A knock on the door was made, as he said, "Okay. Hang on!"

He got up, as he answered the door. It was Kirsten, in her clothes. Kirsten said, "What kept you, dork?"

Harley said, "Hi… Hey, listen, you want to know something weird?"

Kirsten asked, "Lemme guess: You had a bad dream, about a kendo accident?"

Harley giggled, "Uh… Yeah, you could say that."

Kirsten smiled and held up a sleeping bag, "Well, I figured I sleep with you, tonight. I brought my own sleeping bag. Besides, like hell I'd sleep with you, Mr. Teen Detective."

Harley said, "You sound just like Rachel. Well, come on in."

She went inside, as she asked if she would make tea. He said, as he was smiling, "Why not?"

Kirsten went to the kitchen, as Harley was sitting on the chair. He even said, "Man… How can I tell her about-? No… Too soon. I mean, it's just one dream. It's not that bad. Although I am friendly towards Kirsten, we're not romantically intertwined, unlike Jimmy and Rachel."

Kirsten asked, from in the kitchen, "Where are you teacups?"

"Top shelf!" He called out.

Kirsten pulled out the tea set, as Harley was drowsy. He fell asleep, as Kirsten brought the tea in. She placed it on the table, as she asked him, "Harley? What would you like on your tea?"

She smiled, as he opened his eyes. She was wearing a black maid outfit, as she held up his teacup, full of tea. She winked, as she asked, "Cream? Sugar?"

He stated, "Idiot! Who puts cream and sugar in tea?"

She beeped, " _Error. Coffee. Coffee._ "

She threw the tea cup down to the floor, smashing it into pieces. She giggled, as she asked, "Tea? Tea?"

She whispered, "Or better yet… Me?"

She leaned closer to Harley, as he stammered in fear. Suddenly…  
 **WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!  
** The kettle whistled out steam, as Harley woke up. He grumbled, "Again?"

She said, as she called, "Tea's ready!"

She served the tea, on a plate, as she asked Harley, "Would you like cream or sugar on your tea?"

He gasped, as he thought, "Like in my dreams…"

He stated, "Uh, Kirsten, who puts cream or sugar in tea?"

"I do!" She barked, "It's not wise to use just lemon!"

She sneered, "Jerk."

She took a sip of tea, as he said, "Now I _know_ I'm losing it."

She asked, as he stared at her, "What? What are you looking at? Something you like, honey?"

He gagged, as he laughed, "Uh, no, no, no, no… I mean…"

She smiled, "Alright. For a minute, I thought you think of me as weird."

He thought, "Your face is weird…"

She sighed, as she was having tea. He took a sip and calm down, afterwards.

 **XXXXX**

That night, Harley was in bed, as Kirsten was sleeping beside his bed, in her sleeping bag. They were both sound asleep, as the clock struck midnight. Kirsten sat up, as she bent her body up, in a motorized whir. She turned to Harley, slowly and steadily. She said, as she opened her eyes, shining in blue, "Harley. Hartwell. It's time. To go. To Osaka. And to begin."

She stood up and carried Harley up, without waking him. He was over her shoulders, as they left the bedroom.

Moments later, Harley woke up, as he was lying down on a cot. He looked around, as a huge gleam of a light shone into his face. He growled, as he was murmuring, "What is this? Morning, already? What time is it?"

Kirsten appeared in a white lab coat, as he said, "Kirsten? What are you doing here?"

Kirsten smiled, as she said, "Be nice, Harley. It's time to take your temperature."

She held up a syringe full of black fluid, as she smiled, "Hold still."

Harley roared, "NEEDLE?! IS THAT A NEEDLE?"

Kirsten smiled, as she said, "It's a-. OH! _Error. Error. Error._ I always get this wrong."

She held up a huge syringe full of black stuff, as she added, "Now, may I take your temperature?"

He shrieked in horror, as he cried, "K-K-K-K-K-K-K-KIRSTEN! THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!"

She winked, "Oh, don't be such a baby. Hold still."

She jabbed the needle towards his head, but he ducked and dropped to the floor. He crawled out of the floor, heading to a door. Kirsten cried, "COME BACK! I haven't finished!"

He stepped out and said, "Oh, you _have_ finished!"

He opened the door, as he was shocked upon seeing. A huge control room was shown, as there were women with lab coats and orange sweaters. They all looked exactly like Kirsten. The first Kirsten appeared from the room, as she said, from behind Harley, "The subject has been hostile, madame."

"Subject?!" Harley gasped.

Kirsten's eyes flickered, as she said, "Hello. I am K-077. My name is Kirsten."

Harley asked, "K-077? What happened?"

Another Kirsten called out, from in her chair, "Subject #051K1! Return to your cage, at once!"

Harley shivered, as he winced in fear, "What is going on?"

Two Kirstens grabbed Harley by the arms and said that he must return to his cage. They dragged him off, as the Kirsten near the computer replied, "Good. That moron should know better."

The girls continued to work, as Harley hollered, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER? IT'S A MADHOUSE! MAAAAAAAD HOOOOOOOOOOOOOUSE!"

* * *

Harley was in a small padded room with a desk and chair, pads of paper, pencils, and a small portrait of Kirsten on the wall. There was also a small bed inside, as he said, lying down, "This is weird. Just who are these girls? They all look like Kirsten. And are they robots? That Kirsten said "Error", continuously. But it's ridiculous."

The door opened, as another Kirsten bowed to him, wearing a white lab coat and a black cowl. She spoke, "It's time to go…"

Harley asked, "Why are you an executioner?"

Kirsten said, "I'm sorry. But I am not obligated to explain to you."

She grabbed his hand and said, "Please, come with me… We have so much to talk about."

He was dragged off, as he pleaded for her to break free. However, two more Kirstens said, "Amazing guy… What a hunk… What a moron…"

Harley sighed, "Great. Unbiased and uncommon."

Kirsten explained, "We all have the same personality."

He asked who she was, as she explained, "I am a K-101. My name is Kirsten. I am an alien android from the Planet Akaso."

"Akaso?!" He asked, "What is that?"

She explained, "Akaso, in your home, is Osaka, spelled backwards. We are programmed to learn human life, as told by our leader, K-001. Her name is Iasnak."

Harley moaned, "I get it. Her name is backwards for Kansai."

She explained, "Stop worrying about it. We're all the same."

Harley asked, "Tell me. What have you done with the _real_ Kirsten?"

She replied, "Who? And which one?"

He stated, "Kirsten Thomas! She's from Osaka, like me! She looks like you!"

She examined, "Error. Kirsten Thomas is me."

She stopped and processed, "No… uh… Or was it K-112, K-363, or K-071? Or was it K-212?"

He asked, "How many of you are there? Honest question."

She replied, "Meh. We're all the same. We can't tell each other apart… but we do know who's who and which's which. And to answer, there are approximately 501 of us, all around. After all, we are all Akasoians."

He moaned, "500 androids… Five hundred Kirstens… My life is hell…"

He then asked her, "Wait… Who's the EXTRA Kirsten?"

She replied, "That extra Kirsten is K-001, our leader, Iasnak."

He was brought into an examination room, as a Kirsten Robot in a white and black bikini appeared. She giggled to him, "Hey, Harley. How's it going?"

She cuddled by him, as she hugged him. He blushed, as Kirsten rubbed her chrome body onto him. She said, "Would you like to kiss me, Harley?"

He shoved her away, as she was on her hands and legs, in a crab pose. He cried, "Madness! What are you? You can't be her!"

Kirsten beeped, "Subject resists. K-229, ready to pounce. Hug me."

She dove at him, as Harley sidestepped out of the way. He fell to the ground, and bumped his head into a snowman. The entire area changed into a wintery wonderland. Another Kirsten Robot appeared, dressed in a blue winter coat and hoodie, and held up a snowball. She said, as three more Kirstens appeared. She giggled, "Heads up, Osaka Boy~!"

He was pelted in snowballs, as he made a run for it. He ran through the snowy weather, as the Kirstens continued to throw snowballs at him, but nearly struck him with the snowballs. Harley started to run through the thick snow on the ground, up to his knees. He was freezing, turning blue in the lips. He crawled through the snow, as another Kirsten appeared, riding in a red and purple snowmobile. She was wearing a red puffy coat and sunglasses. She stopped by a very frostbitten Harley, as Kirsten said, "You are in need of service? You are chilled to the bone. Lemme rescue you."

Harley shivered, "GET AWAY! I don't know you!"

He was helped up, as she said, "Grab onto my waist…"

He was on the snowmobile, as Kirsten giggled, "That tickles."

She continued to ride off, through the snow, as he asked, "Hey, uh, is this a dream, or is this a simulation? Because, I'm curious on who you are."

Kirsten responded, "Reponse: I am K-261. My name-."

"I GET IT! But I wasn't talking about-!"

"HOLD ON TO ME, HARLEY!" She cried.

She zoomed off, heading to a huge snow-covered cliff. He shrieked, "WAIT! CAN I LET GO OF YOU?"

Kirsten called out, as she revved up, "I am sorry! But if you step out, fatality is assured at 75% possibility!"

The snowmobile zoomed off the cliff, as it was flying into the air. A couple of Kirstens each held up a sign in poster board, marked " _WE HEART U, HARLEY (u dork)_ ". The snowmobile plummeted to the snow bank, and then crashed into it.

 **XXXXX**

Harley woke up in bed, as it was morning. He groaned, "Thank goodness…"

He looked to the right of his bedside, and saw an empty sleeping bag. He smiled and was relieved, "Thank goodness… It's over."

He stepped out of bed, as he heard the shower running. He whispered, in confusion, "Is that… Huh? Is Kirsten in the shower?"

He stepped into the bathroom, as steam was coming out of the shower. Kirsten was in there, taking a shower. He said, as he was worried, "I wonder… If it's not a dream, maybe Kirsten would pummel me. _Oh, Harley, you pervert~._ Yeah, something like that. Oh, well."

He called out, "Hey, Kirsten, are you decent? I'm only gonna wash my hands."

Kirsten turned off the water and draped herself in a white towel. She stepped out and giggled, "Hi, Harley…"

She blushed, as her long brown hair flowed down, wet and dripping. He asked, as he was nervous, "Uh, were you using my shower?"

She smiled, "Shouldn't I? I can't always shower at my own domicile. Or, is it because you wanted a look, baby?"

He gasped, as she removed her towel, showing her chrome skin, with a metallic blue bra and panties. She smiled and laughed, "Oh, come now, Harley. I am always like this… in fact, all of us are color-coordinated, and blue is today's color."

He stumbled to the floor, as he asked, "Wait… This is a dream, isn't it? I'm back here in the alien spaceship!"

Kirsten laughed, "Oh, do not be silly, Harley. We never use a spaceship for test subjects. We use a business building. A skyscraper, as you call it."

She beeped, as she pressed a small triangle, which was above her chest. She pressed it and quickly changed into her orange sweater and jeans. Her hair was quickly dried, and made into a ponytail. She smiled, with her eyes closed, "Bye-bye~!"

She pranced away, as Harley was shivering. He thought, "What the hell is going on?"

He stepped out, as a bunch of Kirstens were cleaning his house. Two Kirstens were making breakfast, as another Kirsten was washing the dishes. One Kirsten was sweeping the floor, while another Kirsten was making the bed. And another Kirsten was washing the windows, and another Kirsten was vacuuming the carpet. About 10 robots of Kirsten Thomas was cleaning his house, as he was completely startled and shocked. He cried, " ** _WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?_** "

They turned to him, in unison, as they spoke, "Hello, Harley! You're such an idiot, today!"

He griped, "I DON'T CARE! JUST WHAT ARE YOU-?"

A Kirsten grabbed his left arm, as she cooed, "Aw, don't be mean, you dear sweet man…"

Another grabbed his right arm, "We just wanna make you happy, all for Iasnak's sake."

"Iasnak? 12 of you?! Then, I haven't left the lab?"

The Kirstens laughed, as Harley screamed. He was trapped with 12 clones of his best friend, in his own house.

* * *

Moments later, multiple Kirstens, with emotionless looks, were typing in keyboards, scanning and observing Harley, who was lying on a table, with wires connected to him, wearing only a white shirt and shorts. He was out cold, still moaning and flinching a bit. Kirsten 1 said, "It appears that Subject Hartwell is resisting Phase 3 of Akaso's harem treatment: _lovely roommates_. We just love to make him resist to us. His tan skin, hot bod, cunning smarts… Ooh, how we hate hm."

Kirsten 2 added, "And yet, we love him, at the same time. Our leader would love him."

Kirsten 3 replied, "May we up to Phase 4: _hot coffee_?"

Kirsten 1 said, "Negative. If we want him, we shall prepare Phase 6: _dinner and stars_."

Kirsten 4 typed in, as she announced, "Roger. Wilco. Now commencing Phase 6."

The computers beeped, as Harley was getting up. Kirsten 3 called out, "ABORT! ABORT! Subject is coming to!"

Harley moaned, as he was sweating a bit, completely scared. He looked around, as three Kirstens turned to him, while on the control panel. He looked around, as he was in a room with metal walls, two fluorescent lights on the ceiling, and a one-way window with the Kirstens watching Harley. Harley called out, "Hello? Hello! HEY! Whoever you are, I want out!"

The Kirstens looks at each other, as Kirsten 5 replied, "Should we tell him?"

Kirsten 2 responded, "That would jeopardize the mission."

Kirsten 1 said, "We should. There are many of us, and one of him… after all, we were created to love him."

Kirsten 6 responded, "Untrue, ladies. He is shown full-on resistance on the female of the species, namely this _Kirsten Thomas_ he speaks of. He is showing absolute hostility. And yet our methods of charm won't work. Being he's from Osaka, and we're from Akaso."

Kirsten 3 asked, "What can we do? We cannot leave him here to rot, or send him home. He belongs to our queen."

Harley yelled, "HEY! You hear me? I want out! LEMME OUT, DAMN IT, OR ELSE I'LL SMASH THE DOOR DOWN!"

Kirsten 1 went to the door and opened it. She stepped inside, as the others watched on. She said to him, "Do not resist, Harley. We are only to observe you."

He argued, "You moron! YOU ALL ARE! WHAT ARE YOU GIRLS? First, I get a new scenario from each moment, with one of you in it, and then, I get robot versions of you, in my house!"

She said, "We're all robots, but not all of us."

He asked, "Come again?"

She stated, "K-001, her name is Iasnak, is fully organic, and she'd love to watch you resist over her, being she admires you. She likes you, a lot."

He barked, "Look, someone please tell me what is going on here. I belong back home in Osaka. I have a life, solving mysteries with Kudo and Moore! Even if Kirsten _is_ a robot, or human, or alien, or I don't care, she can try her worst, even if she _is_ this Kansai Queen! I! DO NOT! BELONG HERE!"

Kirsten 1 said, "Yes, yes. Please compose yourself, sweetheart. Lie down and we'll give you such a toning down of your anger."

She lied her down on the table, as he said, in tears, "Listen to me, damn you!"

She rubbed his chest with his hands, as he pleaded, "LISTEN TO ME!"

She started to kiss Harley, passionately, as the others watched on, writing it down on the clipboard. The emotionless robot continued to kiss him, as she went on the table and removed her lab coat. She explained, "Do not resist. Since you cannot go to Phases 4 through 10, you can move on to the oral examination…"

Harley blushed, as he moaned, "NO… No, please… Don't… Stop…"

Kirsten replied, "Don't stop? Of course, Harley."

She lied onto Harley, as she continued to kiss him. She went on, for 45 seconds, until Harley cried, "No… No more… Enough…"

He roared, "I SAID, ENOUGH!"

He shoved her off, as he was panting heavily. Kirsten 1 dropped to the floor, smashing her arms off. She beeped, as she was smoking from her armless sockets, " _Hostility… Aggressive… Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger._ "

The others entered the room, but Harley shoved them all down. He ran off, as he made his escape. Kirsten 2 yelled, "HURRY! Subject Harley cannot escape!"

A siren goes off, as Harley ran out of the building, heading to a small grassy area. The PA went off, as it alerted the entire Akasoians, " _Attention! Subject has escaped captivity! Subject is fleeing! Quick, he's getting away! Capture him alive!_ "

Harley disappeared into the fields, as the Kirstens were in green uniforms, driving three huge grey tanks, with the flag of Osaka on it, except that the flag was yellow, and the design was blue. Harley started to run for it, as the first Kirsten, in tank #1, called out, "FIRE!"

 **BOOM!  
** It fired a huge missile at Harley, but he dodged out of the way. Harley yelled, "YOU GIRLS ARE FREAKS!"

Kirsten smiled, "We're not. We're robots."

Harley called out, "SAME DIFFERENCE!"

Kirsten in Tank #2 called, "Fire on my command! Get that dork!"

Kirsten in Tank #3 said, "Copy that."

They continued to fire, as Harley retreated into a chasm. He jumped down and fell into the abyss. The Kirstens cried, "NO!"

Harley fell to his death, as he escaped the Akasoians' clutches. Or so he thought. The minute he was in the deep dark abyss, he landed in a field, in the middle of the night. He looked around, as it was a very deep dark forest. Four Kirstens, dressed in leaf bikinis, approached Harley, as Kirsten 2 said, "Time's up, Harley."

The first Kirsten had a torch in her hand, while the other three grabbed him. He cried, "HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

Kirsten 4 replied, "SILENCE!"

Kirsten 3 said, "Our queen would like to meet you, darling."

Harley was dragged into a huge group of Kirstens, all in green leaf bikinis, as the fifth Kirsten called out, in Osakan dialect, " _Did ya bring us to him?_ "

The fourth Kirsten said, " _Yeah, he's not goin' anywhere, now._ "

The fifth Kirsten bowed, " _And he's been through enough, did he?_ "

The sixth Kirsten called, " _You burn dat punk alive, man!_ "

The seventh Kirsten said, " _That is NOT the way_!"

They all spoke in dialect, only Harley could understand. He cried, "What are you going to do with me?"

Kirsten 2 said, "We're going to seduce you, until you're willing to accept our race."

Harley moaned, "Come on… You robots are all the same!"

Kirsten 4 gasped, "HARLEY! We're not all robots. We're only savage warriors from Akaso, and we are on the hunt… for human flesh."

Harley gasped, "CANNIBALS?!"

Kirsten 1 held up the torch and shouted, in Osakan, " _Tie the loser up!_ "

They tied him in rope, on a post, as they prepared a tribal dance around him. He called out, "This is insane! What is wrong with you? You're not human beings!"

Kirsten 3 jabbed a spear onto Harley's arm, poking him, "Silence, idiot!"

He was being jabbed and poked, continuously, since they chose to not kill him, just yet. Kirsten 5 lit a bonfire over his feet, as he yelled, "You're nuts! I'm not going to stoop to _your_ level!"

The fire continued to blow, as Kirsten 6 chanted, " _BEGIN!_ "

They danced around the flaming pole, as Harley was being poked and suffocating in smoke from the fire. He called out, as he was being jabbed, "OW! Hey! Where's your-? OH! OW! YEOW! HOW IS THIS AROUSING?"

Kirsten 7 yelled, "SHUT UP, LOSER!"

He cried, "LET ME OUT!"

Kirsten 6 jabbed at his back and said, "SILENCE! YOU CANNOT RESIST US!"

He hollered, "The hell I can!"

 **SNAP!  
** The ropes broke off, as it caught on fire. He ran out and shoved down one of the Kirstens. She was set on fire, as she screamed in pain, setting ablaze. He ran for it, as the Kirstens cried out, armed with spears and bows. They chased after the boy, as they cried out in numerous war cries. Harley ran through the dark forest, as the Kirstens in green were closing in on him. He stopped at a huge cliff, with a view of a huge rocky ground, from below. He sighed, as he said, "I'd rather be dead, than be with these psychos. But… Where else am I gonna be?"

He jumped out, falling off the cliff, and plummeting into fifty feet in the air. However, he landed in the water, as he was now in a murky swamp. He swam out, as he gasped for air and walked out into the shore. However, he was fuming in anger, as he cried, "These girls… There are too many of them… THERE'S NO END TO THIS! What does she want from me?"

Just then, a group of female soldiers, dressed in camo and helmets, were walking through the swamp, armed in guns. Harley spotted them and said, "Thank god… Soldiers! Wherever I am, maybe they can help me out!"

As it revealed, the soldiers all look like Kirsten, with her hair flowing down, and with war paint on their faces, to hide in camouflage. They held up their rifles, as Harley yelled, "HEY! It's me! I'm a citizen! Help me, assistance!"

He asked, "Why are they female? Never mind. I'm saved! At least they are not Kirsten!"

They held up their SMG Rifles, as the leading Kirsten yelled, "FIRE!"

"NO!" He yelled, and ducked down.

They fired at him, continuously and destroying the reeds and leafs he was ducking behind. Harley actually sank into the water, to avoid gunfire. They halted, as one Kirsten called, "Cease fire!"

Kirsten 4 sobbed, as the 2nd and 3rd Kirstens reloaded, "I knew we shouldn't have shot Lieutenant Sebastian!"

She held up a small green hand grenade, as she spotted Harley, who ducked out of the water. She pulled the pin, counted to 5, threw the grenade, as Harley looked down. The bomb fell in a plop.

 **PLOP!  
** "Oh, shhhhhhhhh-."

 **KABOOM!  
** Harley jumped out of the water, nearly escaping the explosion. He landed in a stone wall, as he was outside the Kirsten Robots' facilities. He looked around, as he saw Kirsten on a billboard, posing and winking. He moaned, "No… No. No, no, no…"

He was limping, as he was in pain. He cried, "When will it end? Someone… Make it stop! Please!"

A Kirsten in blue called, armed with a pistol, "HALT! STOP HIM!"

Harley dropped down, as he was tired and exhausted. He sobbed, as he said, "Please… No more… I give up… How many of you are there? Just enough already…"

The Kirstens picked him up and dragged him inside the building.

 **XXXXX**

Inside the lab, the Kirstens were in attention, all three hundred and seven were present, as they were by a huge throne of their leader, K-001, Iasnak. Harley moaned, as he was on one knee. The Kirstens bowed in unison, as Kirsten #281 called, "Announcing, K-001, our glorious leader, Iasnak!"

Harley looked up and saw a woman in brown hair, done in a ponytail, with a blue ribbon. She was wearing a red dress and pink boots. She looked exactly like Kirsten, as expected much by Harley. She bowed, "Hello, I am Iasnak. I am K-001, and it's an honor to meet you, you darling idiot."

Harley said, "Okay, you have got to stop making hazes and praises! Damn it, I want to know what is going on here!"

Iasnak said, "You want to know? You know that Akaso is in need of a strong man. And with all 500 of us, we are so lonely. I took the form of this Kirsten Thomas, as you speak of, but only to know you well. You see, I admire your cunning techniques, and your brilliance as a detective, next to Jimmy Kudo and Richard Moore. My dear Hartwell… We never intended to hurt you."

"NO! But seducing me is bad enough!" He cried, "I want to know… Who the hell are you, and what the hell do you want from me?"

She smiled, as she kneeled down, "Forgiveness. It's all we wanted from you. You care for me, yet you never show feelings. You built me… You manufactured me… You tested me… and yet, you never showed emotion onto me."

"What? We're like friends, not lovers! You were the daughter of an Osaka Police Commissioner, while my father was a detective! What are you supposed to be, huh?"

"You care for that robot girl, Rachel Moore, huh?"

"Robot? What are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb. You're living in a dream world, where humans consider you as bait. But us, the female of the species… We're all mechanized. You forget how long it's been?"

"Uh, 20 years?"

"Twenty… Try _Twenty-two_ years!"

She slapped him in the face, as Kirsten barked, "You were with Kudo for so long, you never had time for me, until you invited his entourage to Osaka. And that's when I met _her_ , the floozy of a robot, that you cared for."

"She's Kudo's girlfriend! Besides-."

"Liar! She said that she and him don't date! These two never get along. Besides, she always denies it, but her embarrassment makes her all worth it, because she does love him. Outdated piece of machinery!"

Harley stated, "HEY! And what does that make me?"

Kirsten smirked evilly, "You? Heh! You are considered _obsolete_."

Harley barked, "YOU LIE! You always cared for me, when the crisis is huge! But you never cared for me!"

Kirsten yelled, "THAT IS NOT TRUE! I can't experience love, yet! But don't say that I'm a robot, designed to be uncaring and become your _buddy_!"

She grabbed his arm and said, "If you'd only understand that… This would not be happening…"

She started to sob, as Harley said, "Stop it. Kirsten, I know you're trying to save me, but I'm not into that sort of relationship. At least not yet. You and I are one in the same, being Osakans, being part of life, and being who we are… It won't change anything."

She sniffled, as she wept, "You're a monster… You're a stupid teen monster! YOU HATE ME, DO YOU?"

She hollered, with tears in her eyes, "WELL, I HATE YOU!"

The Kirstens booed at him, as Harley called, "Whose side are you dolls on?"

Kirsten shoved him down and said, "You think you say that you're your own independent man? Men are all the same!"

She called out, "Kirstens! SEIZE HIM!"

He dashed off, as she cried, "HEY!"

He called out, "Catch me if you can!"

He ran out of the building, as the Kirstens chased after him, in a huge roar of angry shouts. Kirsten called out, "DO NOT LET HIM ESCAPE! GET THA BASTARD!"

The huge army of Kirsten Clones chased after Harley, as they surrounded him, in the middle of downtown. He was trapped, as the androids chanted, "HARLEY! HARLEY! HARLEY! HARLEY!"

They all chanted, as Harley was surrounded. He saw a lone manhole cover and lifted it up with all his might. He dove down into the hole, and ducked into the sewers, underground. Kirsten #293 yelled, "DAMN! He got away!"

Kirsten #45 sobbed, "I can't go in there!"

Kirsten #92 roared, "That guy is so smart, yet sexy."

Kirsten #118 asked, "Wait, did we just hate him, now?"

Kirsten #198 barked at #118, "You said so!"

Kirsten #118 cried, "SHE made me do it!"

She pointed at Kirsten #322, who said, pointing at Kirsten #129, "Well, _she_ made me do it!"

Kirsten #129 pointed at Kirsten #64, "Well, what about her? _She_ made me do it!"

Kirsten #64 them blamed it on #201, who blamed it on #75, who blamed it on #437, who blamed it on #26, and so on, and so on.

Meanwhile, from down below, Harley was walking through the underground area, as he moaned, "Crazy girls… And to think she has feelings for me. If I survive this, I want to set things right."

He saw a huge light from above, as he smiled, "A LIGHT! Thank god… If it's for the damning Kirsten City, I give up!"

He climbed up the ladder and went out. He saw a huge city in Japan, mildly destroyed and tattered. He asked, "What? Did I just come here? I wonder… Is this a new land of Kirstens that made this city an apocalypse?"

He looked around, as there was no one around. He continued to walk down the aimless streets of Tokyo, as he said, "Hmm… I take it that I'm now in Kudo's city. But why is it destroyed?"

He continued to walk aimlessly into the city, looking for help, and hopefully _away_ from androids of what was considered his best friend, Kirsten Thomas.

* * *

 _Harley Hartwell, walking down the endless path of nothingness… No emotion, no happiness, no friends… Weeks went by, and Harley manages to save himself from suffering. Only his instincts of survival can save him._

* * *

Two weeks had passed, as Harley was eating some sushi and drinks. He was relaxed, as he was finally alone. He said to himself, "So… How come this place is so desolate?"

He then walked off, leaving only his food and rations behind. He said that they'll still be here, until he finds help. He then saw a newspaper stand saw a newspaper headline of Kirsten's face on it.

" ** _Terror in Tokyo: Mouridon destroys Tokyo_** ".

He laughs, as he said, "How about that? A kaiju in Tokyo destroys the city. And the best part was… Kirsten's not around…"

He paused, and then cried out, " ** _KAIJU ATTACK?!_** "

A rumble was made, as a huge fifty-foot tall woman appeared, with long brown hair, a blue school uniform, and with spikes all over her body. She roared in a huge monstrous cry, as she bellowed, " ** _SHINICHI!_** "

It was a 50-foot tall Rachel Moore, as Harley cried, in complete shock, "Th-th-th-th-th-that's… THAT'S KUDO'S GIRL?!"

A voice called out, in bad Japanese dubbing, "NO! It is Mouridon! The pure athletic beast from deep within the seas of Tokyo!"

Harley asked, "Who said that?"

He saw a girl, wearing glasses, with a black dress and skirt, with her hair down. It was _another_ Kirsten, who was watching the carnage. She spoke in bad dubbing, "Oh, no! This is bad! Harley-san! Mouridon is attacking Tokyo, again, since you arrived here, two weeks ago! OH!"

Harley facepalmed himself and sobbed, "Oh, no… not again…"

Kirsten nodded, as she removed her glasses, "There is but one way out. I have to summon **_Mecha-Kazuha_**!"

Harley sobbed, as he was on his knees, "Make it stop…"

Mouridon looked down and saw Harley. She growled, as she bellowed, "Mouri… MOURIDON! GRAAAAAAAAAH!"

She grabbed Harley in her hand, as he cried, "HEY! YOU FREAK, LET ME GO!"

Mouridon hissed, "Shinichi…"

She marched off, rampaging the city of Tokyo, smashing into buildings and roaring in a loud booming sound. Kirsten sobbed, as she continued to speak in bad dubbing, "Oh, no. I have to rescue him! He's my boyfriend, and that monster got her talons on him! We have no choice. Summon **_Mecha-Kazuha!_** "

Meanwhile, far away, in an underground base, a huge female mecha emerged from the ground, as the hatch doors opened. The female mecha flew off, as she resembles Kirsten, completely in chrome, with a white school uniform and a black skirt. She flew towards Tokyo, heading to Mouridon, the evil Rachel Moore beast from the murky depths of the city. Mecha-Kazuha called out, as she stood in front of Mouridon, "STAY BACK, EVIL BEAST! That man is mine! And he's to be rescued!"

She posed, " ** _MECHA!_** "

Mouridon placed Harley down on the top of a building, as she roared, "MOURI!"

They began to clash, exchanging punches and kicks, as Harley sobbed, watching the carnage unfold.

"Hell. That's it. I must be in Hell." He whimpered, "I see Kudo's girl and Kirsten fight, a la Godzilla, and so far, these two are making things worse. If I only had been nicer to her, none of this would be happening!"

Mecha-Kazuha threw Mouridon into the building, as Harley shrieked. She crashed down, as Kirsten cried, "HARLEY!"

He was plummeting down, as the two Kaijus continue to clash, exchanging punches and kicks. Harley closed his eyes and whispered, "Please… Kirsten… I'm sorry… Let me wake up… Please…"

 **CRASH!  
** Kirsten, from below, shrieked, " **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!** "

Harley fell about thirty feet into the air, falling into the pavement below. He was out cold, as he was bleeding from his head. Kirsten approached him, as he coughed, "Kirsten… Was I ever nice to you?"

She hugged him, as she was crying, "Harley, I'm so sorry. Harley, don't leave me…"

His eyes closed, as he died. He dropped his arms, as Kirsten was crying to him, with tears in her eyes.

"Harley… **HARLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!** NO!"

She cried on his chest, as she wept, "Harley… No, Harley… Don't leave me… Harley… Harley… I love you! Don't die on me… I love you…"

She continued to plead his name, as Harley was still dead. He could only hear Kirsten's sobs, until it faded away. And then… nothing…

* * *

"Harley… Hey, Harley? Hey, stupid, wake up!"

Harley woke up, as he was still in his chair, gasping. He asked, "Kirsten?"

Kirsten smiled, as she served the tea, "I said that the tea was ready, and you were sleeping for, I don't know, 20 minutes."

She asked, as he was relieved, "Something wrong, Harley?"

"Quick! Did you call me a moron?"

"Duh. Why would I say that, all the time?"

He hugged her, as he smiled, "Thank goodness."

"Uh-uh, Harley?"

He continued to hug her, as he was happy. Everything he suffered, over Kirsten was all a bizarre nightmare. Kirsten let go, as she said, "Uh, yeah… What was it that made you so happy for me?"

He yawned and said, "Oh, you wouldn't believe it. I had this weird bizarre dream, straight from The Twilight Zone… and you were there… well, grosses of you."

"Huh? How many of me? I'm curious?"

"About… five hundred and one? OH! And here's a shocker. I was also in a Planet called Akaso, which was Osaka backwards, and you were its android queen. And then, there's Tokyo, with a huge Rachel Monster, attacking the city, and you had a Mecha-Kirsten at-."

She halted her and said, "Bup-bup! You lost me there. This is just like you, Harley Hartwell!"

She scolded at him, "Have you been up all night again? Were you just at another stupid case, rather than doing studies and kendo practice? One of these days you're going to waste your life away, just for the hell of it! Clones of me, indeed! Have you been drinking sake, again?"

She continued to scold, as Harley was quite blissful. She kept talking, as Harley said, "I'm just glad that there's only _one_ of you."

He thought, "Oh! It's getting late."

He approached the table, as Kirsten yelled, "HEY! I'm talking to you! Hello? Earth to stupid! Since when did you have time to ignore me? Is this about Kudo's girl being a robot? Well, you know I was right about the evil twin thing! I knew she was a robot, because she and I think alike!"

He held up a small remote, as she continued, "You're the worst, Harley Hartwell! First, you ignore me, then, you don't believe me, now, you suddenly have no interest into listening to me? I can continue to talk as I please, since I want to speak to you, on and on, and so on, and so forth, because when I talk, you listen! You hear me?"

 **BEEP!  
** "When I speak, you unnnnnnderrrrrrrrrrrr…" Kirsten slurred her voice down to a halt. She bent down forward, with her arms limp and her face blank. Her eyes went black, and her eyelids were half-closed, her mouth was curled up in a circle, and her body remained immovable. He sighed and said, "I can take Kirsten's lectures, after that nightmare, but she didn't have to go that far."

He lied down on the couch, having a cup of tea, as he said, "Here's to you, Kirsten. I'm glad to have only _one_ of you. Maybe someday I'll say how I feel about you…"

He then plugged her in, as he bent Kirsten back up. He kissed her on the cheek, as he said, "You're the greatest. Good night."

He left to the bedroom, to get ready for bed. He kept Kirsten, plugged in, all night long.

* * *

 _This has been a tale of admiration and care. Harley Hartwell, a young Osaka native, and his robot girlfriend. Harley learns how to treat his friends, nicely, despite that there are so many of her to choose from. "One" may be the loneliest number, but one is the number of people for love and friendship.  
Harley Hartwell, a boy with a friendly smile and a smart attitude, a citizen of his own world, a man who cares for his own kind, and a master of his own kingdom.  
Harley Hartwell, who suffered enough from his loving Kirsten Thomas, went through his own personal nightmare… through a long winding road of care… through a " **Tale of the Bizarre** "… and back to reality._

* * *

The lights went out, as Harley concluded, "Remind me to have her upgraded to speak in a limit…"

The room was silent, as it was all quiet at night. Suddenly, Kirsten's eyes opened, as they glowed in a red LED hue. She spoke, as she was immovable in her face, "Harley…"

* * *

 ** _Good night out there, wherever you are…_**


End file.
